Sometimes I can hate myself more than any other day. Like why I was even being born, why the sperm who created me was swimming so fast so she could be choosen to be me?

I hate myself.
I hate myself that I can’t be like any other human.
I hate myself because I have a really bad attitude. Bad teeth. Bad face. Bad hair. Bad body. Bad heart? I don’t know.
But I hate myself, because today I was being cursed again, by my parent.
I don’t know. Basically I love them, on the other side, I hate them.
I hate them for not trying to understand me.
I hate them for mocking me when I cried. Tell me that I’m weak.
I hate them for the time they trying to ask me when I will be going home & in the next moment we were having fight, at home. It seems that it’s better for me not to be at home.

Sometimes, I hate being home.

And they always complain about me not doing anything. They always compare their childhood, like they would try hard to achieve something, they try hard to get money for school’s fee, and they told us that we are so helpless and can’t do anything on our own.

And what I always want to say is,
“Who raise us?”

You guys raised us. And we’re the product of your methods. We’re the product of our spoiled childhood.

And now they both actually did curse me.
I pretend that I’m okay.
But …….I really want to cry.
And I just wish the curses won’t happen.

It hurts.

I wanna be away from home for so long.


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