It has been awhile since the last post I wrote.
I am now sitting on my bed, staring at papers that scattered all over my carpet and table. I am not doing anything. Just staring and saying “I hate you” silently.
I yell in my heart ” please, just skip my life until graduation.” Because sometimes it’s really hard…that your body is so hard to move, to work, it’s hard to be motivated.
But I know that it won’t happen unless I lived in a story book for children. As much as I wish for time to go faster, I won’t realized it, until that someday, when I finally reached my graduation day and wondered back to the past and sighed “time flies too fast”, and “i still haven’t do anything meaningful. I still haven’t accomplished anything.”
I realized that we, human, realized that time flies too fast when we already living the days of the future. When the future become our present then we realized that time flies too fast and all that time we wasted for not being productive, for not ….at least…..doing good for others.
Sometimes I still find myself wondering about my future. Do myself can do better in the future? And what if …..what if….there’s already a book about myself written by someone up there and they already know the ending…..and I am just the lead role of his/her book…..then…I must be that kind of plain, ordinary, not-pretty-enough lead role, who lack of ambition and still figured out what she wants to do in the future